You can hear me read my poem, “Vagaries” here:

voicemailpoems:

'Vagaries' (for B.R)
by Fiona Helmsley

When you have to run your dishwasher three times in order to get the plates clean,
You should probably just do them by hand.
I bought my child Flintstone vitamins,
Then ate them all, like candy.
In the same way that Picasso had his Blue Period, then later, his Black Period,
I will have my Vindictive Period.
It’s a brave new world, with brave new reasons to rage.
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by marriage,
Sexless, soul-sucking, jealous.
The vagaries of youth transition to the vulgarities of age.
I don’t believe in the day or the night, I just believe in the morning.
I want to die like Lou Reed
On the birthday of Dylan Thomas and Sylvia Plath.


———————————————————

I made a Buzzfeed list of songs with “pig” in their titles changed to “bro.” image

http://www.buzzfeed.com/fionahelmsley/12-songs-with-pig-in-the-title-changed-to-bro-jk12

I have a new story up here: http://www.paragraphline.com/2014/01/27/herbert-hunke-herbert-hunke-herbert-hunke-by-fiona-helmsley/
The Story of Jean by Fiona Helmsley

The Story of Jean by Fiona Helmsley

Haiku on the death of Bob Grant:
Bob Grant has passed on.
The news makes my mother sing,
“Good riddance, you bum.”

Haiku on the death of Bob Grant:

Bob Grant has passed on.
The news makes my mother sing,
“Good riddance, you bum.”

New poem: Big Pimpin’

Contempt

image

She told me,

That while she was sitting out in her car

With her groceries, Before she realized

It was me, and not some stranger-woman

Coming out of the supermarket,

She had thought to herself,

"Skinny bitch, with your black leggings

And motorcycle boots, I fucking hate you.”

She told me this, Like she was giving me some kind

Of funny compliment;

Like the old adage wasn’t true,

Familiarity didn’t breed contempt,

No, no, no.

It negated it.

           I didn’t believe her.

©FH

Delmore’s at the Dixie

New poem about the last days of poet Delmore Schwartz, at my blog, Flee Flee This Sad Hotel: http://ilikemymeattender.blogspot.com/2013/12/delmores-at-dixie.html?zx=4cb444b1e03efda